I never imagined that my little sister would beat me to motherhood, marriage, the whole nine yards. So when she had her first kid, it was really weird for me! Much to my shame, I clearly remember being at my mom's house, and tiny little baby Joshua was there for the first time. My mom came towards me to give him to me to hold, and I wanted to walk away. Knowing how my mom probably would have responded, I held him.
Josh and HannahI didn't know what to do... what to think... I had no attachment to this tiny little boy who was most definitely the center of attention for everyone now. All I knew is that he was a stranger, and I thought I would have kids before my sister did, so I would be ready to embrace her new little bundles of joy, as I would already have several of my own. Except I didn't have several of my own. None of my siblings did either. She was the first. We didn't grow up around any of our aunts or uncles either, so this was COMPLETELY uncharted territory for me.
My "Mini Me"And then Joshua started growing. In no time, he was starting to form a personality. He started to recognize me! He even acted like he was happy to see me. This little one whom I had rejected, and withheld my affection from, WANTED to see me. He was excited to see me. It didn't take him long at all to completely win my heart. How could I resist?
So I'm "Aunt Kate" now... Three times over!. And I love being an aunt. Joshua, Cayti, and Hannah have trained me well, and helped me to mend my selfish ways. They are three sweet faces that I will ALWAYS long to see, and hear their enthusiastic "KAAAAAAATE!!!!".
lyrics
I walk in the door, not a bad day
Something's weighing heavy on my mind
I don't know quite what to say
I look around the room, call down the hallway
Seeking the very thing I need to put my mind at ease
Chorus:
I have come to depend upon your smile
I long just to see your sweet face
Just turn your eyes this way
Taken by surprise, a little weary of strangers
I knew you were nothing to be afraid of
I had no room to let you in
So I stand amazed, how I am captured here
Not by a word or deed, only a kind and gentle face
(Chorus)
credits
from Welcome To My Living Room,
track released June 15, 1999
Words & Music by Kate Rockey. All tracks performed & recorded by Kate Rockey.
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